Category Archives: Uncategorized

People who shouldn’t teach.

Last night I went to the first session of my English Comp. class.  Yet another teacher who believes in making forcing students to stand up and share private information with everybody in the room, my professor was nearly finished making the rounds when I entered the room.  Ultimately, this meant only that I was caught off guard when I sat down and she came to me.

When I asked her to speak to me in the hallway, she paused a moment and smiled, as if to say ‘And aren’t you just the biggest idiot in the room?’

Of course everybody took the cue and laughed.  When I asked her again to speak to me in the hall, and stood up to walk from the room, she made a joke about my drink being a beer.  This of course drew another laugh from the class.

This is a prime example of a teacher who should not be teaching.  She may know the information backwards and forwards, but she’s still a raging bitch for absolutely no reason, and she quite obviously was getting off at the stand up humiliation she was putting me through.

On top of that, her syllabus contains the following:

It is expected that students are mature enough that they know these behaviors are inappropriate for the classroom: Leaving class too frequently; Ignoring the instructor; Disruptions from electronic devices; Disruptions from food; Monopolizing discussions; Sleeping in class; Repeated tardiness; Refusal to participate; Sharing or copying work; Plagiarism or lying; Off-topic conversation; Undermining the professor’s authority; Verbal or physical threats.

AS AN EDUCATOR I WILL FOSTER MUTUAL RESPECT IN THE CLASSROOM AND I WILL NOT ALLOW A STUDENT TO UNDERMINE ANOTHER STUDENT’S EDUCATION WITH BEHAVIOR NOT ACCEPTABLE IN A COLLEGE CLASSROOM’

Now, I may be wrong, but for somebody who has such a high opinion of what her time and self esteem is worth, she sure can’t follow her own rules or keep to her pledges as an educator.

How am I supposed to believe that a TEACHER who got off on bullying me in the first 5 minutes I was present in the classroom, won’t foster an air identical with what I’ve seen of her so far?

I spent 45 minutes in the bathroom, having a panic attack and getting severely ill, and then I left.  I sent her a diplomatic email, to which she has not deigned to respond.

I’ll be attempting to switch classes this afternoon but I don’t have much hope for keeping this class for the semester.

I hate people.

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about to be a long day

Yeah.  Smoked my last cigarette last night at 4:30.   Gonna be a long day.

politics

the problem with partisan politics (or ANY politics) is that positions of authority are attractive to those who are unworthy of them, and unattractive to those that are worthy simply because of it.

Examples:

http://thinkprogress.org/economy/2012/07/18/542121/romney-walfare-waivers-2005/?mobile=nc

http://www.zpatriot.com/zpatriot/articles/27/rick-the-dick-santorum/

The salaries for these positions needs to be much less than they are.  The people selected for these positions need to be forthright and trustworthy.   I don’t know about you, but my fucking health and well being are not something for some asshat, making a power play for his party, to use as a goddamn bargaining chip.  Retirees do not need to be running a country.  A country should be run by a group of extremely intelligent 25-40 year old people from low income families (the 99% are not being adequately represented in congress.  And they’re the people, NOT the entitled rich fucks, who have to do things like drive 30 miles in in the snow to get to work because they can’t afford to eat on a daily basis unless they do.   2 things about common people:

1:  They’re common.  That’s why they’re called common.  As in a gross majority of the population of the world.

2: Because common people are more common than rich fucks, their needs are, by definition, the needs of the common folk.

If 99% of the country needs something, and you (the government) ignore it because you’re worried about the 3 guys that make 30 million a year who MIGHT decide to spend a few bucks, then you deserve a fucking revolution.  And with the way my life has gone I deserve to fucking lead it.

Road Rage

It’s been a while since I wrote I guess.  I haven’t thought about the blog much.  Life’s been kind of kicking the crap out of me.  I got on welfare.  So I got medical insurance.  I also had cash assistance but since the program’s been mothballed that’s gone.

evidently politicians think that food stamps can buy shoes and clothes.  Why would the government do something like tax billionaires for personal income greater than 5 million dollars when it can literally steal the fucking clothes off of my back instead?  Lot of money in that, don’t you know.

I have a therapist now.  In fact wanting to be able to more effectively communicate myself to her is what got me starting thinking about this thing again.  She’s nice.  I still don’t like talking about my problems.  I worry that she’s not getting a picture of what my life has been like because I’m an inadequate speaker.

In other news I helped an old friend move today.  I’ll be going back in the morning to help him clean the house, if I can drag my ass out of bed at 9.

In even more news, some sociopath had a fit of road rage and went crazy.  I was lane changing and he was speeding up to try and stop me.  When that didn’t deter me from lane changing, he decided to follow me, weaving through traffic like an asshole.  He tried to run me off the road going by the mall.  That also didn’t deter me from my goal (which was, at that point, getting away from the fucking crazy guy trying to kill me).  When I stopped at a light, the dude jumped out of his car and starting screaming about how I nearly killed him and his wife.  he punched the window a couple of times and spit in my face a couple of times.  He threatened to beat me to death and leave me in the middle of the road.  He told me to get out of the car so that he could k ill me.  He spit in my face a couple more times, and then the light turned green.

an excerpt from the conversation I had with my gf after telling her about the crazy guy:

 

GF 10:34 pm
@_@
oh sweetie…today is just….not…not a good day…

Bundy 10:35 pm
dude this is every day that I’m anywhere outside my room

GF 10:35 pm
::pets:: im sorry love. i wish i could make things perfect for you….

Bundy 10:35 pm
tell me that nearly every time that we’ve gone out in the car in recent memory, multiple people haven’t tried to run us off the road.
lol

GF 10:36 pm
….>_>
<_<
…..*cough* i plead the fifth….

Bundy 10:36 pm
I’m not even kidding.  life is out to get me

GF 10:36 pm
lol
….T_T

Bundy 10:36 pm
it’s not a joke.  it’s not paranoia.

GF 10:37 pm
i dont know what to tell you about that….though im betting you just want me to listen, yeah?

Bundy 10:37 pm
there is a fucking line running from my position to the edge of the universe highlighting the exact trajectory for the balls of shit

Bundy 10:39 pm
I don’t leave the house because I would rather die of bedsores than face my life on a daily basis

 

 

Learning

Having watched how the public school system works and how people have theorized the betterment of academia in general in fiction, I think there is something to be said for analyzing the controllable conditions promoting learning.  I believe that the first several years of a child’s formal schooling should be spent, not on math, science, social studies, english, etc… The first several years of a child’s schooling should be spent leading them from mental exercises to the memorization of long conversations or blocks of text.

Much of a child’s formal learning is spent drilling into memory only a few basic principles.  If the first several years of a person’s life were spent learning to memorize and repeat large quantities of information, then they’ll already be able to hold onto the text and notes, and all the teacher would have to do is help them understand how the principles in the book apply in practice.

I never once finished a text book in a classroom.  I think that is a failure on the part of the institution of learning as a whole.  The purpose of a textbook is to put forth the most basic and important principles of a subject of learning.  The textbook itself explains how to perform the work.  The responsibility of an early teacher should be to facilitate the remembrance of information, rather than a large number of things that a student should, but probably won’t (at a young age) remember very well.

Institutional learning should spend a considerable amount of time playing memory games to strengthen this ability in a child.  It should be drilled morning, noon, and night in subtle (and hopefully fun) ways from around the age of five until the age of 10.  This should begin with the parents from infancy as matching games and children’s songs.  It’s easier for a human being to learn a song.  There’s science to suggest that scent has something to do with learning.

 The nature of the exercises involved in the learning of a child should evolve as their ability to remember it evolves.  The future of humanity is in computers.  The fundamentals of computer use should be taught early and used far more often than they are now.  Each child should have a computer with access to an encyclopedia, dictionary, thesaurus and any other texts required for the class.

Studies should be established to determine the most easily remembered flow/rhythm/organization of information during each stage of a child’s mental/intellectual development.  Milestones in a person’s psychological and intellectual development should be watched for, both to identify each child’s strengths and weaknesses, and as criteria to move forward.

Specialized learning programs should be developed for each child based on the areas in which they show aptitude and interest rather than the idiotic system of age range classification we have now.  Human beings are not all created with the same talents.  We should be determining and building upon these talents to encourage a child in areas in which they might make a difference.  The areas in which they struggle should be worked in as needed to facilitate the working knowledge of the paths upon which they excel.

We should specialize early to maximize the amount of knowledge we can absorb in the fields in which we have talent.  The individual strengths and interests of each person as they develop will naturally balance out, in numbers of successful and satisfied adults, as fields in which they will excel and be satisfied are targeted and presented to them at the earliest possible age.

The professional needs of a society could be analyzed by computer and students suitable to and interested in the work needed could be funneled specifically where needed.  If personality profiles are developed on each child and classrooms are kept small, it should be possible to ensure that a small ‘family’ of students don’t have serious personality clashes.

Teaching would not have to be such a specialized field because the job of the teacher would be to present, and facilitate the memory of, the text rather than the understanding of the subject (which the text provides if actually presented as a whole).  Theoretically the ‘teacher’ could just be a person paid to watch the students and ensure that they are actually performing a series of exercises, tuned specifically to their level of advancement, developed automatically by a computer on the fly each morning, based on each student’s level of advancement from the day before… and it would not be hard.

It would be costly to enact, but the returns would be tremendous.  As each person reached excellence in a field tailored to their talents from birth, our knowledge of those fields would expand proportionately.  Learning could more easily continue because the most basic thing each person would remember is how to remember.

The most important thing we can do in this world, is to put down our differences and work (and therefore learn) together because there is no mythical paradise waiting for us.  We have to MAKE that paradise and we are failing.  Even if there IS a mythical paradise, each man is the sum of his memories and deeds.  If you believe in a mythical paradise you should be struggling to make it easier for others to find, not berating, criticizing, or murdering others for not listening to or understanding you.

The fairy tales that we tell our children that have absolutely no resemblance to the observable reality (aside from religious view [which should be personal, private, and not a subject of public discussion] ) 

Next on WTFisthisguy’sproblem?:

Religious indoctrination should be illegal.  Each person should have the right to believe what they wish to believe without unwelcome influence from family and friends.  Beliefs should be presented as children become intelligent enough to ask about (and understand) these concepts along with the other blocks of information each student will automatically be presented.

We each have personal beliefs.  What those beliefs are is not relevant either to the advancement of understanding or to the betterment of the quality of human life.  We do our children no favors by indoctrinating them against other people by conditioning them at a young age to believe either that their parents are lying or that the rest of the world is stupid.  In either case the child is left not knowing what to believe because no matter where they go they will receive conflicting messages from people who believe conflicting things.  Don’t talk to a person about religion, let your actions speak for your beliefs.

If your beliefs are violent, someone will believe otherwise and stop you, or you will eventually die in one manner or another.  Those who harm others should be dealt with severely and decisively, and in such a way that the perpetrator never considers performing the act of violence or another like it again.  Repeat offenders should be rendered incapable of performing the act of violence again.

At all times care should be taken to leave these people as functional as they can be.  Repeat rapists should simply be castrated.  Repeat misdemeanor miscreants should be placed under constant surveillance and fines should be assessed to be payed to the person/party(parties) they harm.  Repeat murderers should be put down the same way that a rabid dog might be put down.

It is not alright if multiple deaths occur because nothing was done when the warning signs of a murderer began to show.  No murderer is worth enough to society to allow the possibility that they might murder again.  Even if the subject of their theoretical future murder might be another inmate in a facility, the murdered inmate might have been rehabilitated to become a functional and productive member of a forward moving society.  Even sane human behavior is unpredictable.  Nobody should be permitted to unpredictably murder anyone, much less to do it more than once.

Sleep now.  more later

frustration

is having an ever present gap between yourself and the world around you.  I can’t communicate myself effectively to another person without getting angry because they just can’t understand what it’s like to have to sleep on top of a trash compactor, or some clearing far enough off the road that nobody knows you’re there.  They don’t understand what it’s like to have been left out for so long with nothing to live for.

Human beings need positive social contact.  When you’re ready to take ANY social contact, even a beating, just to have the attention of another person for a little while, you may as well be a dog… and that’s what I was.

Nobody can really say they understand another person, but they all have these common connections… things about them which are similar.  Things such as religion, race, and common experiences cause human beings to form social circles.  Those who are left out for too long go insane.  That’s not to say that all insane people are social contact fruitcakes, just that most of those who can’t find social contact wind up counted among their ranks.

Homeless people are a people without race or creed.  We’re looked down on equally by all people.  Those who need to feel powerful abuse the homeless because nobody will care.  Those who need to feel good about themselves will give you a buck or two.  Sometimes you find kind people where you think there are none, and for a moment you have hope, but by the end of the day that money is gone, you’re sleeping in a field under a tarp or a ratty blanket that’s seen too many rainy nights.  Sometimes you’re sleeping in a cardboard box…. they actually hold heat pretty well if you do it right.

Frustration is not being able to talk to another person because they can’t understand you and you can’t understand them.  Frustration is spending the whole of your life looking for a way to be able to empathize with the people that turned you into an animal and made you beg for their scraps.

Frustration is knowing that the fact that you’re still trying just confirms the fact.

Frustration is being unable to go 24 hours without somebody making fun of me, and being unable to make it stop because they don’t understand that I’ve heard that joke literally countless times.  That it’s been used as a stick to beat me all my life and that every time somebody cracks a joke when I introduce myself it brings me a little closer to whatever monster is really at the bottom of this hole.

morning

it’s 8:15 as I begin to write this.  Another person that went to bed when I did would probably be getting up for work but it’s been a typical night.  This is the second time I’ve woken up since the last time I posted.

The first time I woke up I was not aware enough to remember to log it.

This time I was instantly fully aware, followed by total exhaustion (which is how I feel every day) again.

going to try to go back to sleep again.  hopefully I’ll get a couple more hours.

[edit 9:07] no such luck.  shortly after my last post my stomach and bowel began aching.  I’m exhausted, as usual, and it seems as though my day has begun.

sleep log?

it’s 2:50 now.  after some internal debate I’ve decided to log my sleep tonight.  It’s looking to be a typical one.

I went to bed at midnight.  fell asleep around 12:30.  2:30.. instantly completely awake.  not tired at all for for at least 20 minutes.  complete exhaustion follows.  More when next I wake.

people suck

Every time I start to feel better about myself somebody has to get in my face about something and I wind up feeling even worse than when I started.  If I try to tell them how I feel they act like I’m offending them personally by feeling alone or like I’m paranoid for thinking that people are laughing at me.

I’m sorry but the lady on the phone setting up the appointment for this latest doctor’s office audibly snorted.  Hell, I don’t like to see doctors often is for this reason alone.  The doctor before that one, for another example:  About a month before I got this latest job I broke my hand.  My own fault.  I was having one of those days where everybody was shitting on me.  I punched a concrete backed wall and wound up with a boxer’s fracture.  Anyway, when I went in for THAT appointment, everybody there was trying not to laugh at me.  The guy who walked us back to the exam room parked us and then looked me full in the face and asked me if I was related to Al Bundy.

He followed up by informing me that everybody there had been laughing about it all day and was just dying to know.

I’m not some paranoid schizophrenic.  People ARE laughing at me.  Through no fault of my own.  ALL THE TIME.

I would laugh with them if I could but their funny little joke was old before the end of the first season.  It was overused by the start of the second, and by the end of the second, it had become the (still) single most vile thing that a person could say to me.  If you are one of the people who immediately thought about submitting a comment about Married With Children'”, then you should die in a fire.

Just HEARING my name invokes the image of a balding mid 40s MORON and his lovely family.  Don’t get me wrong, the man is a fantastic actor… but after years of harassment I just wish I could crawl under a rock.

Good day?

It’s almost noon as I begin writing this.  I woke up this morning and considered playing WoW.  It’s really the only thing I can do any more to keep sane.  I don’t have to talk to anybody but my brother and there’s plenty to do to keep me occupied.  I raid.  It’s one of the few social connections I have because it’s mostly anonymous.  The down side is that I have to try really hard for 3 hours a day, 3 days a week, not to scream at somebody.  I don’t often succeed.  Mostly this means that I just don’t talk in vent, but sometimes I can’t help myself.  I have to press the button and yell at somebody… which just makes the situation worse.

I discarded the idea for no particular reason and have been sitting here doing more or less nothing for most of 3 hours.  The lights are off, my gf is asleep, and I’m just sitting here bored, not interested in talking to anybody.  The one discussion I’ve had this morning ended with people making fun of me.

My abdomen is only in mild discomfort right now.  No real pain, though we’ll see how long that holds up.

I’m out of cigarettes and I don’t have much money left.  I’m so bored I could tear out my hair… but I haven’t started hating life yet today.